When it comes to advice around getting better sleep, nearly all of it is directed at the individual sleeper who feels they’ve got room to improve: Here’s what you might be doing wrong; here’s how to straighten out your sleep hygiene. Yet for the millions of people who are sleeping with someone else in their bed, this advice leaves out a huge elephant in the room — the other person sharing your sheets.As my guest today argues, a shared bed means shared sleep issues that need to be tackled with shared solutions. Her name is Dr. Wendy Troxel, she’s a clinical psychologist, a sleep specialist, and the author of Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep. We begin our conversation by discussing how sleep not only affects people’s relationships, but people’s relationships affect their sleep, and how this bidirectional dynamic can become either a vicious or virtuous cycle, depending on the quality of sleep that a couple gets. We then talk about the various issues couples deal with in sharing a bed, from snoring to a mismatch in temperature preferences. We also get into the complications that come with bringing kids into the picture, and Wendy gives her take on the issue of family co-sleeping. From there we turn to solutions for shared sleep problems, and dig into the idea of sleeping in separate beds. Wendy unpacks the way the taboo around separate sleeping has waxed and waned throughout history, why it works for some couples, and the options for implementing it, from sleeping in separate bedrooms to a more moderate approach called the “Scandinavian Method.” Wendy also gives advice to couples who want to continue to share the same bed, but struggle with the fact that one person is a morning bird and the other is a night owl.
Resources Related to the Podcast
Wendy’s TEDx talk: How to Sleep Like Your Relationship Depends on ItAt Day’s Close by Roger Ekirch AoM Article: 22 Ways to Get a Better Night’s SleepAoM Article: What Every Man Should Know About SleepAoM Article: How to Stop Snoring
Connect With Wendy Troxel
Wendy’s WebsiteWendy on Twitter
Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)
Listen to the episode on a separate page.
Download this episode.
Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.
Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code “manliness” at checkout.
Click here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors.
Transcript Coming Soon!
The post Podcast #736: Could Sleeping in Separate Beds Improve Your Relationship? appeared first on The Art of Manliness.